i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
