no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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