he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
