I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
