I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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