the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
