Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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