Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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