Small penises have feelings too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
