Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
