Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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