I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
