You just made me feel so damn special
its not stalking. its research.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
