i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
