how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
