It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
