yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
