ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
