Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
