I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
