All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
