We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
