You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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