I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
God I need to hump something, right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
