just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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