what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
