Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
