I don't think brook has ever known best
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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