Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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