Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
