Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize