And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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