in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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