Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
