office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
