What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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