I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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