And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
