you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
