STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
