i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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