only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
