When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
