Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
