I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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