dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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