O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
