Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
