In the future we'll all be gay
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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