I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
