I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
