I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
