But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
